Guest Blogger: Duane Maddy

Why was our church so empty today? Did we give up?

by Celebration Focus on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 2:23am ·

Catchy title, huh?

It’s one o’clock on Monday morning as I begin writing this. I’ve had a busy day. I’ve had a million overwhelming thoughts racing through my mind about today’s service. Today, our church was empty of people...and that’s a good thing! Yes, our seating was almost completely full, but, well, let’s see if I can explain....

During worship, I didn’t notice my hands were raised, or were clapping, or that I was singing. It was a flow that controlled me rather than me controlling it. I like those times because there’s no need for ‘willingness’ when there’s absolute surrender.

Along the lines of what Pastor Steve said today about the absence of ourselves in the equation, I am coming to the understanding that it’s not of my accord that anything’s done or accomplished. I take credit for my ‘willingness’ sometimes, but when there’s a surrender, I can take no credit because I have to come to grips with the fact that I’m overwhelmed and have no chance of a self-gratifying victory. In my best Pastor Steve voice, the “Look at meeee” thing we all do.

The Duane-filled me hates surrender, because that means I’ve given up. Giving up leads to emptiness, though, and that’s where we (or I) have to be. It’s not enough to just be willing, because that can lead to us taking credit for our work, while God wants our work to be ‘royalty free’. That’s tough to take in!

The second thing I noticed today is that God is putting things into motion in a very natural way because of that surrender. Individually AND as a church.

For instance, I know this is a very small detail to most people, but it’s been many years since Ashlee and I have had people who WANT to talk to us and sit by us in church. It got so bad that I've nearly forgotten how to interact with people and developed a slight stutter when I talk because of my uncertainty.

Now, we’re blessed to have our friends, Kendra and Steven sit with us every week. There’s a surrender to work by people like Kristi and Keith who ask nothing in return. There’s a surrender of people coming in that have never even been to Celebration before with the exact gift that’s needed to fill an empty space with ministry that needs done.

To use an analogy of how this is playing out in my mind, it’s sort of like being in a middle school gym class when they were picking sides for dodge ball. You weigh 80 pounds, have no physique, no ability, nothing to offer and you're sporting a "KICK ME" sign on your back. There’s always a team of winners and a team that will lose every time. Today, though, you’re picked by the winners because they like you...not because of what you have to offer or their need of a twerp. You’re empty and incapable, you can’t throw, you can’t dodge, you can’t even tie your own shoes, but you’ve been chosen without regret.

The last thing I’ve noticed is that there’s a great many of us who come from ‘church hurt’. I don’t think there’s anything more disgusting than a church who devours Christians for the sake of building up their own self esteem, but it seems that a steady diet of people are on the menu at many churches across the country.

Seeing the surrender that was present today, along with the love that is constantly flowing among the people of our ‘empty’ church, I sense a healing that I’ve never witnessed anywhere else. The people that come down the aisle to pray are never judged. There’s never a ‘hmm, I wonder what they did wrong’ reaction from anyone there. There’s an absolute abundance of love, joy, peace, patience and a willingness to put up with the tough times, gentleness, goodness, faith and a meek attitude that is displayed. Fruits of the Spirit instead of weeds of judgement and self esteem. (Gal 5:22-23) There’s an excitement for other peoples’ lives and the victory they receive.

I love the empty church, because it’s filled with people who are filled with something besides themselves. I love the surrender that is present, because it means we’ve given up on winning our own way. I love the direction we’re going, because we have nothing to do with the navigation.